Sunday, February 17, 2013

Is Bad, Bad Leroy Brown Bad Enough For the Hall of Bad Dudes?

Does Bad, Bad Leroy Brown deserve to be enshrined in The Hall of Bad Dudes, as Jim Croce asserted back in 1973. Well, here at the HOBD we like to keep an open mind, but to be included in this collection of villains you've got to have a pretty crummy resume, so let's examine the evidence. 

"From the South side of Chicago..."
Sorry, but being from the greatest city on the planet ain't helping your case with this committee. Maybe there's more. Some conclusive evidence that Leroy Brown is a Bad Dude. Let's dig deeper.


Now Leroy he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to wear his diamond rings
On everybodys nose
He got a custom Continental
He got an Eldorado too
He got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe

Let's get this straight: Leroy Brown likes cars, gambling, and nice clothes. hey, me too. You're going to have to do better than that to get in this Hall, Brown. Maybe there's more. Here's the rough stuff...

Well Friday bout a week ago
Leroy shootin' dice
And at the edge of the bar
Sat a girl named Doris
And ooh that girl looked nice
Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon began
Leroy Brown learned a lesson
'Bout messin' with the wife of a jealous man

Hmm. Leroy Brown appears to like chicks, too. Shit, even the Popes in this Hall have banged more ass than the average badass, so I'm going to need a little more. How does this end...

Well the two men took to fightin'
And when they pulled them from the floor
Leroy looked like a jigsaw puzzle
With a couple of pieces gone


Sorry bout it, Jimmy Croce, but this allegedly bad, bad Leroy Brown, seems like a choir boy when compared to even the tamest member of The Hall of Bad Dudes. The verdict is in...

Leroy Brown, you are NOT in The Hall of Bad Dudes.


2 comments:

  1. I agree with your conclusion, but you have to give me that "You Don't Mess Around With Jim".

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  2. Now wait a minute. Croce makes some big claims about Big Jim, too: "And when the bad folks all get together at night
    You know they all call big Jim Boss." But we discover later, Well a hush fell over the pool room
    Jimmy come boppin' in off the street
    And when the cuttin' were done
    The only part that wasn't bloody
    Was the soles of the big man's feet
    Yeah he were cut in in bout a hundred places
    And he were shot in a couple more
    And you better believe
    They sung a different kind of story
    When big Jim hit the floor now they say

    This tribunal finds against Big Jim, and subsequently all Jim Croce nominees.

    ReplyDelete